We Live And Learn, Crash and Burn~Random Thoughts

You can't spend your life trying to please everyone.  You will burn bridges and you will build new ones.  You will make mistakes and you will learn along the way.  But as long as you are happy, then you are doing something right. 

"I fell down 7 times, got back up 8."  Never give up.  No matter how bad life can seem there is always something positive to be found.  Quitting can sometimes seem easy, but running from our problems just complicates things.  Deal with it, learn from it, and move on.

Not everyone is going to like you, and it is pointless to try.  Live your life for you.  The people that love you will always love you, even when you make mistakes.  They never judge, they don't hate, they are always there.  The people that love you will never give up on you, even when you give up on yourself.  So why worry about the people that don't matter when you have people that do.

Just when you think there was no one else in the world to love, God surprises you with someone so much better.  Just because one person did you wrong, don't assume everyone will.  Everyone deserves a fair chance without assumptions, accusations, and fear.  Always believe in love no matter what happens.  The future is your new beginning...let the past go.

Friends drift apart.  It doesn't matter if you have been friends for 7 years or a month.  Eventually, people grow and it doesn't always mean they grow together.  Sometimes two people go in a different direction.  When it happens, let it go.  Everything happens for a reason. 

When it rains, it pours.  When one bad thing happens, we are so consumed in it that all we see are negative things surrounding us.  Take time to see the positive that can come out of a bad situation.  Your storm only lasts as long as you let it.  If you want to be happy...then be :)

I Let It Fall, My Heart, And As It Fell You Rose To Claim It

"The best can't find you until you put the worst behind you."  This quote has never seemed so true.  It took a long time, nearly a year, to get where I've needed to be.  To rid my life of negativity, pain, and heartbreak.  As the weeks go by, my life flies.  I love nights like this when I can take some time to pause, and appreciate everything God has blessed me with. 

Too much time has gone by for me to realize when all of this started, but I don't mind.  It is what it is...and it is happiness :)

Busier than ever, I find myself trapped in the sands of time.  This crazy, beautiful life has no escape, but when you are surrounded by such amazing people you don't even notice how hectic it all gets.  With a smile on my face I think about my friends; such loving sisters.  They give me a life of dreams and hope.  Family that guides me, even on the darkest days.  And even someone unexpected, a best friend, whom I never planned on sharing my life with.  Someone that supports me, encourages me, cares for me...is afraid to lose me.  It feels so nice to have that in my life again...surreal.

I am doing things my way this time, and this time it is going to be perfect.  I have learned to love my flaws, to be confident again.  I am who I am and I have finally found someone that doesn't want to change me.  I've never felt so lucky before.  I spent so much time trying to be with the wrong guy...and now that I'm with someone right...I giggle at how silly I was to think HE was the one.  I've grown so much in the past year it is incredible.  They never said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it...and I'd go through everything again if it meant I'd end up right here<3

I Got My Future Ahead And My Past Behind, I'm Walking Down The Road Paved With Happiness :)

This week has been CRAZY!  Being sick has certainly kept me from running my tush around town trying to get things done, but I'm still on top of it.  I have opened my eyes recently to a lot of things.  My last blog, for instance, really showed me how much bottled up emotions I have toward the past.  It is time to let go; of it all.  It is never easy letting go of things you have grown attached to, especially when they are still there, trying to be apart of you in some way, shape or form.  What I realized is that it isn't the way that I want it there and it never will be.  This is my life and I make the rules.  If I don't want someone in my life then that is my choice.  Is it easy? Never, but no one promised that life was going to be easy.  I know when all is said and done, it will be okay.  I WILL BE OKAY.  And it just takes me truly believing that to be able to move forward and work on MY life and not worry about others. 
Today is a fantastic day.  Although I slept through my only class for the day it is still wonderful.  I am awake, healthy, and in a wonderful mood.  I have so much going for me.  I have a wonderful family that has placed an amazing roof over my head and food on the table.  I have the best friends a girl could ask for that are always there for me when I need them, and even when I don't.  I am healthy as a horse and have so much life ahead of me.  Today's goal: Appreciate those around me and God that gave them to me.  Life is too short to not be thankful EVERY DAY.
I'm not sure what the future has in store for this girl.  All I know is that I am working hard toward my goal of graduating in May.  I am hitting the deadlines and proving to myself that I can do it.  I don't worry about meeting anyone or needing someone.  That girl isn't me.  I am perfectly happy alone...just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely :)  Too many people, including me in the past, worry about being in love.  I can't lie, it is the best feeling in the world, but I know God has something amazing in store for me in this life and when the time is right I will be ready!  My future is a mystery, but as long as I keep growing, maturing, and shaping myself to be the woman I want to be...I know I will come out on top! This girl will never settle for anything less than being HAPPY.

Hold Your Head High Gorgeous, They Would Kill To See You Fall

Girls: They can be so awful to each other it is ridiculous.  I hate admitting that I used to be one of THOSE girls.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones that cause drama, gossip about others, put others down for ridiculous things...yes, a shady mean girl. 

Times have changed and so have I.  I no longer find pleasure in putting others down, making fun of people, sharing rumors I have heard about others.  Instead, I look at girls that still have yet to grow up and feel bad for them.  The happiest I have been in my life is right now.  This very moment.  It has taken awhile for me to be able to brush off the rude things people have to say about me.  I finally realize that in all reality, the people that talk badly about other people are only defining who they are as a person.  Character comes from how you define yourself...ex) what you say about others, how you react in situations, and even just your actions in themselves.  If people listen to what others have to say about you and use that to define who you are, then they are not mature enough to realize that even the most amazing people in the world have had negative things said about them.  It is time to rise above the bullshit and grow up.  Time to realize that we are all human beings and we all make mistakes.  Our mistakes do not define who we are as people, what we do after we make the mistakes does. 

It simply amazes me that I really used to be one of those girls.  I am so glad that I find joy in making others happy and not focusing on how rude people can be.  What they don't realize is that the more they speak my name and talk badly about me, the more motivated I am to prove them, and everyone wrong.  I believe in myself, and although there is always room for improvement, I'm beginning to love who I am now and that is enough for me :)

Don't Let Situations You Can't Change, Change You

Too many times, people let bad things that happen in their lives define them.  A lot of how people perceive who you are is through the way you act in certain situations.  In the past I have had the habit of "freaking out" at silly rumors, or things people would say.  I've found that taking everything life throws at you with a smile makes all the difference.  I no longer let little things get to me as much as they used to.  Life is too short to let a bad situation make me miserable.  There is good in all the bad, it just depends on how you look at it :)


Yesterday at Church the pastor spoke about serving God.  He stated that many of us do not fully serve God, but we serve ourselves.  We do things to gain for ourselves, even if those things are what we know are sins.  A lot of things ran through my head as he was speaking about this subject.  It was like he was speaking to me, saying that I needed to change some of my ways to serve God instead of myself.  I know that no one is perfect and I will probably never be able to fully give God everything I want, but the least I can do is try.  The biggest problem I have is cursing.  I know God is never proud when he hears me curse and I feel like this is step one to becoming a better person.  So I am going to do this, even though if any of my friends read this they are laughing at me right now, but I will!


Life is going rather smoothly lately.  A couple bumps, here and there, but overall I am very happy.  This weekend was amazing with wonderful people.  I had a great Saturday night with some new and old friends.  I've made amends with some, and others I have realized how amazing life is without them.  I have surrounded myself with very positive people that never make me feel badly about anyone, or anything at all.  They are constantly lifting me higher.  Once again, I feel like I have the whole world at my fingertips.  Things are starting to go my way.  I wish everyone could feel what I feel.  I wish I could share this joy and happiness with the world.  All the lessons I have learned have made me who I am and I am so proud of how much I have grown.  I may not be the person I wish to be, but I'm not the person I was :) SO BLESSED!!!

Oh These Times Are Hard And They're Makin Us Crazy...Don't Give Up On Me Baby

Life has its ups and downs and twists and turns.  The ups are amazing and we wish we could ride them forever, but without the sudden falls we would never be able to cherish how wonderful the good times really are in life.

Recently, I have been thrown some very tough pitches.  Curve ball after curve ball, drop balls, rise balls, you name it, I'm being thrown it.  I have been struggling to keep the smile on my face and to remind myself that I am not alone. 

Turning your life over to God is not easy.  Handing him your burdens and your mistakes to gain forgiveness? Shoot...that should be easy! THINK AGAIN.  When you are so used to doing things on your own and trying to take life and do things your way it is hard to turn it over and really trust in God that it will be okay.  It may still hurt tomorrow, or next week, maybe next month, but little by little it will all be okay.

I can tell myself that a million times, but I am still having troubles with one situation in particular.  LOVE.  How am I just supposed to sit back and trust in God that I will either find someone new or he will come back?  This is the hardest test I have ever been given and I am so afraid of failure that I haven't even started to try.  But one thing God has taught me is that life is like riding a bike.  You will never be able to learn if you dont fail a couple times first.  Life is all about making mistakes.  When you learn from them, they are no longer mistakes, but lessons.  If I never try, I can never fail, but I may never find something beautiful also.

Like I said, things get better little by little.  I have found true friendship through all of this falling down.  She has been there for me through thick and thin and has always trusted me, believed in me, helped me, held me, and been honest with me.  I am forever greatful for the many hour long phone calls she had to endure with me bawling my eyes out.  The nights of me just needing a friend.  She was always there.  It makes my life feel rather blessed <3

On a less serious note--Missed church today for work :( lets just say I definitely changed my schedule so I don't work until Sunday afternoon! Luckily, I don't work this coming Sunday so I will be able to attend with Kurt and Jess.  I am so excited! But anyways, I've procrastinated on homework long enough...time to hit the books!! God bless :)

You're Never Alone

I used to hate the saying "everything happens for a reason."  I always thought it was a lousy excuse for people to use when they didn't know what else to tell you.  However, I must say, it is a very bold and true statement.

A lot has been going on in life recently which has led me to my good friends Kurt and Jess.  These two people have really inspired me to be a better person through FAITH.  I never really thought Kurt would be the guy to put God back in my life, but he did.  I would thank him over and over if he wouldn't get annoyed with it.  Taking part in their church service at The Crossing was definitely a changing point in my life.  (Yes I know, The Crossing. It really isn't what everyone thinks it is)  The message of that service was this: Everyone has walls blocking them from reaching God.  We must hand our sins and burdens over to Jesus to break these walls that keep us from furthuring our journey with God.

HOLY COW.  This was the most amazing message that I ever NEEDED to hear.  The service almost brought me to tears thinking about my own life and the burdens I carry with me on a daily basis.  So many burdens that I try and fix myself without the help of God.  More and more I felt myself struggling.  It reminded me of what my teachers always talked about before going to Confession.  "Every sin we carry is like the cross that Jesus carried.  We must confess our sins and let Jesus help us carry our crosses"  These burdens that we have were not meant for us to take on alone.  God is with us, waiting for us to ask for help.  Waiting for us to realize that we can't do it alone.  Life is a rough journey without God and I've been experiencing that for the past couple of years.  With God in my life there is reason.  I am constantly filled with hope, faith, and love. 

When you are tired, draw strength from God.  When you are speechless, talk to God.  When you are lonely, THERE IS GOD.

One of my favorite quotes lately.  It isn't always easy to remember He is there.  When I feel the tears start to fill my eyes and the thoughts of how much my life sucks or how much a certain situation is "killin me inside", I pray.  Instantly, I am filled with a peace that I have never felt so strongly before.  It is like God is saying, "I know you are struggling, but I am here to help you stand." 

It amazes me that even though I have strayed down the wrong path for so long, God is still here to help guide me back home.  No matter how many times you turn your back on God he will always forgive you and always love you.  I am forever blessed to have faith.