Life has its ups and downs and twists and turns. The ups are amazing and we wish we could ride them forever, but without the sudden falls we would never be able to cherish how wonderful the good times really are in life.
Recently, I have been thrown some very tough pitches. Curve ball after curve ball, drop balls, rise balls, you name it, I'm being thrown it. I have been struggling to keep the smile on my face and to remind myself that I am not alone.
Turning your life over to God is not easy. Handing him your burdens and your mistakes to gain forgiveness? Shoot...that should be easy! THINK AGAIN. When you are so used to doing things on your own and trying to take life and do things your way it is hard to turn it over and really trust in God that it will be okay. It may still hurt tomorrow, or next week, maybe next month, but little by little it will all be okay.
I can tell myself that a million times, but I am still having troubles with one situation in particular. LOVE. How am I just supposed to sit back and trust in God that I will either find someone new or he will come back? This is the hardest test I have ever been given and I am so afraid of failure that I haven't even started to try. But one thing God has taught me is that life is like riding a bike. You will never be able to learn if you dont fail a couple times first. Life is all about making mistakes. When you learn from them, they are no longer mistakes, but lessons. If I never try, I can never fail, but I may never find something beautiful also.
Like I said, things get better little by little. I have found true friendship through all of this falling down. She has been there for me through thick and thin and has always trusted me, believed in me, helped me, held me, and been honest with me. I am forever greatful for the many hour long phone calls she had to endure with me bawling my eyes out. The nights of me just needing a friend. She was always there. It makes my life feel rather blessed <3
On a less serious note--Missed church today for work :( lets just say I definitely changed my schedule so I don't work until Sunday afternoon! Luckily, I don't work this coming Sunday so I will be able to attend with Kurt and Jess. I am so excited! But anyways, I've procrastinated on homework long enough...time to hit the books!! God bless :)
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