This week has been CRAZY! Being sick has certainly kept me from running my tush around town trying to get things done, but I'm still on top of it. I have opened my eyes recently to a lot of things. My last blog, for instance, really showed me how much bottled up emotions I have toward the past. It is time to let go; of it all. It is never easy letting go of things you have grown attached to, especially when they are still there, trying to be apart of you in some way, shape or form. What I realized is that it isn't the way that I want it there and it never will be. This is my life and I make the rules. If I don't want someone in my life then that is my choice. Is it easy? Never, but no one promised that life was going to be easy. I know when all is said and done, it will be okay. I WILL BE OKAY. And it just takes me truly believing that to be able to move forward and work on MY life and not worry about others.
Today is a fantastic day. Although I slept through my only class for the day it is still wonderful. I am awake, healthy, and in a wonderful mood. I have so much going for me. I have a wonderful family that has placed an amazing roof over my head and food on the table. I have the best friends a girl could ask for that are always there for me when I need them, and even when I don't. I am healthy as a horse and have so much life ahead of me. Today's goal: Appreciate those around me and God that gave them to me. Life is too short to not be thankful EVERY DAY.
I'm not sure what the future has in store for this girl. All I know is that I am working hard toward my goal of graduating in May. I am hitting the deadlines and proving to myself that I can do it. I don't worry about meeting anyone or needing someone. That girl isn't me. I am perfectly happy alone...just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely :) Too many people, including me in the past, worry about being in love. I can't lie, it is the best feeling in the world, but I know God has something amazing in store for me in this life and when the time is right I will be ready! My future is a mystery, but as long as I keep growing, maturing, and shaping myself to be the woman I want to be...I know I will come out on top! This girl will never settle for anything less than being HAPPY.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Hold Your Head High Gorgeous, They Would Kill To See You Fall
Girls: They can be so awful to each other it is ridiculous. I hate admitting that I used to be one of THOSE girls. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that cause drama, gossip about others, put others down for ridiculous things...yes, a shady mean girl.
Times have changed and so have I. I no longer find pleasure in putting others down, making fun of people, sharing rumors I have heard about others. Instead, I look at girls that still have yet to grow up and feel bad for them. The happiest I have been in my life is right now. This very moment. It has taken awhile for me to be able to brush off the rude things people have to say about me. I finally realize that in all reality, the people that talk badly about other people are only defining who they are as a person. Character comes from how you define yourself...ex) what you say about others, how you react in situations, and even just your actions in themselves. If people listen to what others have to say about you and use that to define who you are, then they are not mature enough to realize that even the most amazing people in the world have had negative things said about them. It is time to rise above the bullshit and grow up. Time to realize that we are all human beings and we all make mistakes. Our mistakes do not define who we are as people, what we do after we make the mistakes does.
It simply amazes me that I really used to be one of those girls. I am so glad that I find joy in making others happy and not focusing on how rude people can be. What they don't realize is that the more they speak my name and talk badly about me, the more motivated I am to prove them, and everyone wrong. I believe in myself, and although there is always room for improvement, I'm beginning to love who I am now and that is enough for me :)
Times have changed and so have I. I no longer find pleasure in putting others down, making fun of people, sharing rumors I have heard about others. Instead, I look at girls that still have yet to grow up and feel bad for them. The happiest I have been in my life is right now. This very moment. It has taken awhile for me to be able to brush off the rude things people have to say about me. I finally realize that in all reality, the people that talk badly about other people are only defining who they are as a person. Character comes from how you define yourself...ex) what you say about others, how you react in situations, and even just your actions in themselves. If people listen to what others have to say about you and use that to define who you are, then they are not mature enough to realize that even the most amazing people in the world have had negative things said about them. It is time to rise above the bullshit and grow up. Time to realize that we are all human beings and we all make mistakes. Our mistakes do not define who we are as people, what we do after we make the mistakes does.
It simply amazes me that I really used to be one of those girls. I am so glad that I find joy in making others happy and not focusing on how rude people can be. What they don't realize is that the more they speak my name and talk badly about me, the more motivated I am to prove them, and everyone wrong. I believe in myself, and although there is always room for improvement, I'm beginning to love who I am now and that is enough for me :)
Monday, November 7, 2011
Don't Let Situations You Can't Change, Change You
Too many times, people let bad things that happen in their lives define them. A lot of how people perceive who you are is through the way you act in certain situations. In the past I have had the habit of "freaking out" at silly rumors, or things people would say. I've found that taking everything life throws at you with a smile makes all the difference. I no longer let little things get to me as much as they used to. Life is too short to let a bad situation make me miserable. There is good in all the bad, it just depends on how you look at it :)
Yesterday at Church the pastor spoke about serving God. He stated that many of us do not fully serve God, but we serve ourselves. We do things to gain for ourselves, even if those things are what we know are sins. A lot of things ran through my head as he was speaking about this subject. It was like he was speaking to me, saying that I needed to change some of my ways to serve God instead of myself. I know that no one is perfect and I will probably never be able to fully give God everything I want, but the least I can do is try. The biggest problem I have is cursing. I know God is never proud when he hears me curse and I feel like this is step one to becoming a better person. So I am going to do this, even though if any of my friends read this they are laughing at me right now, but I will!
Life is going rather smoothly lately. A couple bumps, here and there, but overall I am very happy. This weekend was amazing with wonderful people. I had a great Saturday night with some new and old friends. I've made amends with some, and others I have realized how amazing life is without them. I have surrounded myself with very positive people that never make me feel badly about anyone, or anything at all. They are constantly lifting me higher. Once again, I feel like I have the whole world at my fingertips. Things are starting to go my way. I wish everyone could feel what I feel. I wish I could share this joy and happiness with the world. All the lessons I have learned have made me who I am and I am so proud of how much I have grown. I may not be the person I wish to be, but I'm not the person I was :) SO BLESSED!!!
Yesterday at Church the pastor spoke about serving God. He stated that many of us do not fully serve God, but we serve ourselves. We do things to gain for ourselves, even if those things are what we know are sins. A lot of things ran through my head as he was speaking about this subject. It was like he was speaking to me, saying that I needed to change some of my ways to serve God instead of myself. I know that no one is perfect and I will probably never be able to fully give God everything I want, but the least I can do is try. The biggest problem I have is cursing. I know God is never proud when he hears me curse and I feel like this is step one to becoming a better person. So I am going to do this, even though if any of my friends read this they are laughing at me right now, but I will!
Life is going rather smoothly lately. A couple bumps, here and there, but overall I am very happy. This weekend was amazing with wonderful people. I had a great Saturday night with some new and old friends. I've made amends with some, and others I have realized how amazing life is without them. I have surrounded myself with very positive people that never make me feel badly about anyone, or anything at all. They are constantly lifting me higher. Once again, I feel like I have the whole world at my fingertips. Things are starting to go my way. I wish everyone could feel what I feel. I wish I could share this joy and happiness with the world. All the lessons I have learned have made me who I am and I am so proud of how much I have grown. I may not be the person I wish to be, but I'm not the person I was :) SO BLESSED!!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Oh These Times Are Hard And They're Makin Us Crazy...Don't Give Up On Me Baby
Life has its ups and downs and twists and turns. The ups are amazing and we wish we could ride them forever, but without the sudden falls we would never be able to cherish how wonderful the good times really are in life.
Recently, I have been thrown some very tough pitches. Curve ball after curve ball, drop balls, rise balls, you name it, I'm being thrown it. I have been struggling to keep the smile on my face and to remind myself that I am not alone.
Turning your life over to God is not easy. Handing him your burdens and your mistakes to gain forgiveness? Shoot...that should be easy! THINK AGAIN. When you are so used to doing things on your own and trying to take life and do things your way it is hard to turn it over and really trust in God that it will be okay. It may still hurt tomorrow, or next week, maybe next month, but little by little it will all be okay.
I can tell myself that a million times, but I am still having troubles with one situation in particular. LOVE. How am I just supposed to sit back and trust in God that I will either find someone new or he will come back? This is the hardest test I have ever been given and I am so afraid of failure that I haven't even started to try. But one thing God has taught me is that life is like riding a bike. You will never be able to learn if you dont fail a couple times first. Life is all about making mistakes. When you learn from them, they are no longer mistakes, but lessons. If I never try, I can never fail, but I may never find something beautiful also.
Like I said, things get better little by little. I have found true friendship through all of this falling down. She has been there for me through thick and thin and has always trusted me, believed in me, helped me, held me, and been honest with me. I am forever greatful for the many hour long phone calls she had to endure with me bawling my eyes out. The nights of me just needing a friend. She was always there. It makes my life feel rather blessed <3
On a less serious note--Missed church today for work :( lets just say I definitely changed my schedule so I don't work until Sunday afternoon! Luckily, I don't work this coming Sunday so I will be able to attend with Kurt and Jess. I am so excited! But anyways, I've procrastinated on homework long enough...time to hit the books!! God bless :)
Recently, I have been thrown some very tough pitches. Curve ball after curve ball, drop balls, rise balls, you name it, I'm being thrown it. I have been struggling to keep the smile on my face and to remind myself that I am not alone.
Turning your life over to God is not easy. Handing him your burdens and your mistakes to gain forgiveness? Shoot...that should be easy! THINK AGAIN. When you are so used to doing things on your own and trying to take life and do things your way it is hard to turn it over and really trust in God that it will be okay. It may still hurt tomorrow, or next week, maybe next month, but little by little it will all be okay.
I can tell myself that a million times, but I am still having troubles with one situation in particular. LOVE. How am I just supposed to sit back and trust in God that I will either find someone new or he will come back? This is the hardest test I have ever been given and I am so afraid of failure that I haven't even started to try. But one thing God has taught me is that life is like riding a bike. You will never be able to learn if you dont fail a couple times first. Life is all about making mistakes. When you learn from them, they are no longer mistakes, but lessons. If I never try, I can never fail, but I may never find something beautiful also.
Like I said, things get better little by little. I have found true friendship through all of this falling down. She has been there for me through thick and thin and has always trusted me, believed in me, helped me, held me, and been honest with me. I am forever greatful for the many hour long phone calls she had to endure with me bawling my eyes out. The nights of me just needing a friend. She was always there. It makes my life feel rather blessed <3
On a less serious note--Missed church today for work :( lets just say I definitely changed my schedule so I don't work until Sunday afternoon! Luckily, I don't work this coming Sunday so I will be able to attend with Kurt and Jess. I am so excited! But anyways, I've procrastinated on homework long enough...time to hit the books!! God bless :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
You're Never Alone
I used to hate the saying "everything happens for a reason." I always thought it was a lousy excuse for people to use when they didn't know what else to tell you. However, I must say, it is a very bold and true statement.
A lot has been going on in life recently which has led me to my good friends Kurt and Jess. These two people have really inspired me to be a better person through FAITH. I never really thought Kurt would be the guy to put God back in my life, but he did. I would thank him over and over if he wouldn't get annoyed with it. Taking part in their church service at The Crossing was definitely a changing point in my life. (Yes I know, The Crossing. It really isn't what everyone thinks it is) The message of that service was this: Everyone has walls blocking them from reaching God. We must hand our sins and burdens over to Jesus to break these walls that keep us from furthuring our journey with God.
HOLY COW. This was the most amazing message that I ever NEEDED to hear. The service almost brought me to tears thinking about my own life and the burdens I carry with me on a daily basis. So many burdens that I try and fix myself without the help of God. More and more I felt myself struggling. It reminded me of what my teachers always talked about before going to Confession. "Every sin we carry is like the cross that Jesus carried. We must confess our sins and let Jesus help us carry our crosses" These burdens that we have were not meant for us to take on alone. God is with us, waiting for us to ask for help. Waiting for us to realize that we can't do it alone. Life is a rough journey without God and I've been experiencing that for the past couple of years. With God in my life there is reason. I am constantly filled with hope, faith, and love.
When you are tired, draw strength from God. When you are speechless, talk to God. When you are lonely, THERE IS GOD.
One of my favorite quotes lately. It isn't always easy to remember He is there. When I feel the tears start to fill my eyes and the thoughts of how much my life sucks or how much a certain situation is "killin me inside", I pray. Instantly, I am filled with a peace that I have never felt so strongly before. It is like God is saying, "I know you are struggling, but I am here to help you stand."
It amazes me that even though I have strayed down the wrong path for so long, God is still here to help guide me back home. No matter how many times you turn your back on God he will always forgive you and always love you. I am forever blessed to have faith.
A lot has been going on in life recently which has led me to my good friends Kurt and Jess. These two people have really inspired me to be a better person through FAITH. I never really thought Kurt would be the guy to put God back in my life, but he did. I would thank him over and over if he wouldn't get annoyed with it. Taking part in their church service at The Crossing was definitely a changing point in my life. (Yes I know, The Crossing. It really isn't what everyone thinks it is) The message of that service was this: Everyone has walls blocking them from reaching God. We must hand our sins and burdens over to Jesus to break these walls that keep us from furthuring our journey with God.
HOLY COW. This was the most amazing message that I ever NEEDED to hear. The service almost brought me to tears thinking about my own life and the burdens I carry with me on a daily basis. So many burdens that I try and fix myself without the help of God. More and more I felt myself struggling. It reminded me of what my teachers always talked about before going to Confession. "Every sin we carry is like the cross that Jesus carried. We must confess our sins and let Jesus help us carry our crosses" These burdens that we have were not meant for us to take on alone. God is with us, waiting for us to ask for help. Waiting for us to realize that we can't do it alone. Life is a rough journey without God and I've been experiencing that for the past couple of years. With God in my life there is reason. I am constantly filled with hope, faith, and love.
When you are tired, draw strength from God. When you are speechless, talk to God. When you are lonely, THERE IS GOD.
One of my favorite quotes lately. It isn't always easy to remember He is there. When I feel the tears start to fill my eyes and the thoughts of how much my life sucks or how much a certain situation is "killin me inside", I pray. Instantly, I am filled with a peace that I have never felt so strongly before. It is like God is saying, "I know you are struggling, but I am here to help you stand."
It amazes me that even though I have strayed down the wrong path for so long, God is still here to help guide me back home. No matter how many times you turn your back on God he will always forgive you and always love you. I am forever blessed to have faith.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)